Ephesians 5:25 commands husbands to love their wives sacrificially — as Christ loved the church. Why 'she doesn't submit' doesn't exempt you from the sacrifice you owe.
Ephesians 5:25 commands husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her — a sacrifice owed regardless of whether she returns the respect you demand.
Husbands are commanded to lay down their lives for their wives just as Christ did for the church. Ephesians 5:25 is clear: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” (Ephesians 5:25 KJV) People like to argue, “Yeah, but she doesn’t listen. She doesn’t submit!” They think that because they aren’t receiving the respect they demand, they are exempt from the sacrifice they owe. But do you always listen to Christ? Do you always perfectly submit to His authority? Of course not. And yet, does Christ stop being the Savior of the Church because we fail Him? Does He hold back His grace because we are stubborn? Christ laid down His life for people that often do not listen to Him, and He continues to sustain us despite our failings.
Feelings do not change Scripture. Sound doctrine is that husbands are to lay their lives down for their wives—sacrificing their pride, their comfort, and their own desires—regardless of whether or not they think the wife is “deserving” of it. If you are withholding your sacrifice because she isn’t acting the way you want, you aren’t imitating Christ; you are just keeping a ledger of offenses.
Ephesians 5:25 KJV“Your iniquities have turned away these things, and your sins have withholden good things from you.”
Read Ephesians 5 →
Read every Scripture quote in your chosen translation (WEB, KJV, Geneva, YLT, and more) at https://www.thelivingsword.org/sound-doctrine/husbands-love
All 26 sound doctrine essays: Sound Doctrine — The Living Sword