Must you forgive someone who hasn't apologized? Colossians 3:13 and Matthew 6:14-15 say yes — withholding forgiveness until they 'deserve' it sets your own sin before God's judgment.
The command to forgive is absolute, yet we build walls of conditions around it. Colossians 3:13 and Matthew 6:14-15 leave no apology clause — you are to forgive as the Lord forgave you.
The command to forgive is absolute, yet people constantly build walls of “conditions” to avoid obeying it. The most frequent excuse is, “They haven’t apologized, so I don’t have to forgive.” This is a human invention, not a biblical requirement. Scripture is clear: “Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.” (Colossians 3:13 KJV) (Colossians 3:13). Jesus makes the stakes clear in Matthew 6:14-15: “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” (Matthew 6:14-15 KJV)
There is no “apology clause” in the command of Christ. You may argue that your feelings of hurt are too deep or that their lack of repentance makes forgiveness impossible. But you are not called to wait until you “feel” like forgiving, nor are you authorized to withhold grace until the offender meets your criteria. You are commanded to forgive because, as Romans 5:10 tells us, “while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son.” If the Creator of the universe could forgive you while you were His enemy, who are you to withhold that same grace from another? When you withhold forgiveness, you are not protecting yourself; you are nursing bitterness and setting yourself up for judgment. God is not deceived by clever arguments regarding why they don’t “deserve” it. He looks at your heart to see if you have truly understood the mercy you have already received. Stop holding others hostage to their sins, or you will find yourself held hostage by your own.
Colossians 3:13 KJV“But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing.”
Read Colossians 3 →
Matthew 6:14 KJV“My God, think thou upon Tobiah and Sanballat according to these their works, and on the prophetess Noadiah, and the rest of the prophets, that would have put me in fear.”
Read Matthew 6 →
Read every Scripture quote in your chosen translation (WEB, KJV, Geneva, YLT, and more) at https://www.thelivingsword.org/sound-doctrine/unconditional-forgiveness
All 26 sound doctrine essays: Sound Doctrine — The Living Sword